On Daddies.

Recently, a few women I care about have lost their fathers. It is always a tragedy when someone loses a person they love, but for me, losing daddy hits very close to my heart. While working to come up with things to say, I ended up with the below. It is an open letter to all the little girls who, for one reason or another, have lost their daddies.

Perhaps the 'daddy' described here sounds more like your mom. Your big sister or brother. Your best friend, or your aunt to whom you were very close...

To all who've lost someone dear, this is for you.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dear Friend,

Daddies are special men who teach us, their daughters, the most important things about life and love. Through their examples they teach us patience, through their assurance teach us courage, and by their affection set our expectations for a partner. They are the warm, steady influences in our uncertain lives, and we rely on them for support, encouragement and acceptance.

And then one day we grow up. We become women, and suddenly realize our daddies are just men; that they have faults and make mistakes. But we decide we don't mind. We forgive them their weaknesses and failures because they are perfect in our childhood hearts. We accept them because of what they mean to us.

And then one day, they are gone. And the world no longer makes any sense. Our most reliable fail-safe person has disappeared, and we feel abandoned. We are surrounded by our partners, peers and children who love us and whom we love, but who can never see us or accept us in that perfect way of a parent. In that precious way of only daddy.

The following kind words were given to me shortly after my father died. They were shiny pieces of hope in a time of deep grief. What they meant to me, I hope they mean to you too, as we are sisters of a kind:

"You are your father's daughter. You can do anything, even this."

Love,
Nicole